Chakotay's Lament
Set some years after Voyagers return to the Alpha Quadrant. Chakotay reflects upon Voyagers return and his life since. Not all homecomings work out well, even for heroes.
Voyager and the characters aboard her in this essay are copyright of Paramount. No resemblance is intended to any person alive or dead.
The story line is my own.
Constructive criticism and comments are welcome on e-mail story@rgower.plus.com
I have read all the opinions of how it is possible for Seven of Nine and Chakotay becoming a pair and made a point of watching the shows that were supposed to direct me at this burgeoning relationship. I still cannot get my head or heart around the concept. It does not work! The only reason that does make sense is desperation. But as it must be the case (Paramount says so!)
This story is rated PG13
©R Gower 2001
There was joy all around the ship when we saw that almost forgotten blue/green planet, even Seven managed to crack the corners of her mouth. We didn't sing and dance, not at first. Our return was too chaotic for that. We saved the jubilation for the party.
And did we party!
It lasted for weeks.
At least it felt like it.
Seven endured them for me, like the efficient wife she is. But it was evident that she was lost in the press of unfamiliar people and emotions.
In the end I got sick of those parties too.
There were too many people that wanted to congratulate us. Old friends, from the Maqui, that might even be enemies now. Not many of those of course, not after the massacre.
Those same people that organised that massacre wanted to be my friends as well, promising a great future. That must have hurt B'Elanna, she's had so many. The scowl she was giving Tom's parents as they pawed over the baby, showed it all.
Those promises proved false of course, they always do, but we believed them. They promised to forgive us our crimes. They did, but every time something happens they look at us accusingly, forgiven but not forgotten.
I can see Kathryn is not entirely happy either. Her meeting with her former fiancé was at best strained, though she did manage to smile at his wife, or perhaps it was a grimace?
Perhaps there are thoughts as to what has been missed. Not that she would ever let herself go, not while we were lost in the Delta Quadrant. I thought she was wrong then and told her so. She ignored it of course, but it looks as though I might be right this time.
Of course her career took off big time. Now she is an Admiral with a whole raft of duties to keep her busy. We meet occasionally, usually at reunion dinners and we are still friends. Still single, she looks as lonely as she is and that whimsical look is still in her eyes.
I have Seven of course. Beautiful and intelligent, what more could I want?
A little more emotion perhaps?
That would be churlish. I knew what she was when I married her.
They gave me a ship and told me to ply between planets and keep my nose clean. So now I go where I'm told. It is dull, but I'm not complaining.
Perhaps it suits me?
Though sometimes I miss the unpredictable events of our voyage home.
We had a fire in the cargo bay last week. Nothing serious, at least it shouldn't have been. Just a cargo pod smouldering and easily dealt with, except I leapt into action, it got two crewmen hurt. But it was the first unpredicted thing to happen since returning.
Seven came with me for the first few trips. She tried hard to settle to the boredom, but it proved too much for her. Now she prefers to remain on Earth.
Kathryn found her a research job at Academy, bossing students and telling the lecturers they are illogical. I think that bores her as well.
Still they are letting me go to an archaeological dig next month. Perhaps she will come. Though I doubt it. She has never seen the point in picking over the remains of cultures. "They have failed to adapt," she will observe.
She is right of course. But she fails to see the reason for finding out how they failed.
I wonder if we have anything in common now?
When we were in the Delta Quadrant we had a commonality of purpose, survival even desperation. A lot of things can be covered with that, so our other differences didn't seem to matter and the voyage was going to take forever.
Now there is nothing to disguise them. But I could never leave her because of that. She would be so defenceless. She will never leave me because she has single-mindedly decided she will be my mate. To change her mind now would mean admitting defeat. She does not do that. Ever. She is worse than Kathryn.
How proud I was when we married. Seven standing beside me as Kathryn made the vows, a faint look of hurt behind her smile. Even thought I was in love with her and her with me. Our journey seemed endless then and the act was right. But now. I wonder if I should have held on. Perhaps things would have been different.
Then nobody would have known Kathryn would go out of her way to break her own rules over paradoxes and bring us back early. She told us what happened afterwards, in her own time line. It doesn't seem so bad now as it did then. Perhaps it was deliberate attempt to get at us?
But Kathryn does not do that sort of thing.
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